Twitter is a unique beast, with college football Twitter its own monster and the Notre Dame subsection a terror all its own. The overreactions, hot takes and incessant hand-wringing create an ecosystem unlike any other throughout fall’s Saturdays. The gifs, memes and intentional misspellings of “FIGTHING IRISH” develop a language at best English-adjacent. The on-field highs become greater peaks and each lost fumble craters into a never-ending abyss as far as the proverbial feed is concerned.
As it was first known, twttr officially launched in March of 2006 and gained steam in 2007, but it only found momentum in 2008 and became main-stream somewhere between 2009 and 2010. Personally, it was a slow day in The South Bend Tribune’s newsroom during LeBron James’ first free agency that spurred signing up. (July 4, 2010, to be exact.) Notre Dame football reaches back much, much further than that. More than a century so.
Relatively speaking, the moments of the last decade have largely been muted, considering just how much Twitter overreacts to trivial moments and nearly-combusts on big occasions. For every South Florida rainstorm, a Kick-Six stands out as a true demonstration of college football Twitter’s reach. A national championship game blowout quickly turns into an hour-long Irish roast followed by two hours of boredom.
Thus, the pointless-but-for-entertainment question becomes …
What Notre Dame football events from the pre-Twitter era would have been best suited for the platform’s hyperbolic reaction, universal enjoyment and continuous feedback?
A few categories of replies emerge.
THE RECENT HISTORY
The years immediately preceding Twitter’s takeover offered numerous days of hysteria, obviously halted by 2007’s 3-9 disaster, a season in which Twitter’s barroom snark may have provided some needed company for the miserable, company which could have included Michigan fans to open the season, courtesy of that legendary Appalachian State upset.
A simple peak came with Brady Quinn finding Jeff Samardzija for a 45-yard touchdown pass in the final minute to beat UCLA in 2006. Weeks before that, though, both the Irish comeback at Michigan State and the reaction to it would have been ripe for the picking.
Scoring 19 straight points to win 40-37 at a rival’s venue is about as sweet as it gets in college football. Eliciting an uninterrupted, 15-minute meltdown from the rival’s radio jockey is another brand of delight. The longest breath ever taken by Mike Valenti, of 97.1 “The Ticket” in Detroit, is hardly remembered today, but imagine if Twitter had sunk its teeth into the rolling and roiling takedown of everything associated with Drew Henson and Mark Dantonio.
It begins nicely enough, repeatedly deeming the loss a “choke job.” Valenti touches on football concepts familiar to Notre Dame fans remembering 2016, “You’re asking Drew Stanton to run the option in Hurricane Katrina.” Valenti’s voice halts, cracks and nearly gives out. “God forbid if they had tripped over themselves and gained 20 yards, they wouldn’t have even gotten a field goal off. The unit wasn’t ready.”
And in a moment of resignation perfectly designed for Twitter’s character limits, “I’m tired. I’m hurt. I’m emotional. I’m shot. I’ve got nothing left.”
Before 2006’s dramatics, there was 2005’s “Bush Push.” Not much else needs to be said. Irish fans would have conjured up thrice the conspiracy theories they already have if Twitter and gifs had been there to aid the bargaining fans. In time, they would have found some comfort in the inevitable memes of Matt Leinart and Reggie Bush crying. For an hour that afternoon, before all dreams were dashed, Tom Zbikowski’s punt return for a touchdown and a 21-14 halftime lead would have delivered Notre Dame fans quite the social media hubris, counteracting the expected public cries of despair at the sight of green jerseys before the game, justifiably so given their production in 2003 against Boston College.
THE DISTANT HISTORY
Two nominees jump to mind, both dealing with the state directly north of campus. Twitter would have wrung itself into an incoherent, morally-outraged mess following the 10-10 tie between the No. 1 Irish and No. 2 Michigan State in 1966. How could Ara not try to win? Why play the game? How weak!! Valid strategy or not, Notre Dame holding the ball for the final 70 seconds of a tie game would have sparked backlash so strong it then would have induced its own backlash which would, presumably, lead to backlash to the backlash of the initial backlash.
Fast forward 13 years and the football purists would have again had their fingers clattering in anger after Bob Crable leapt off the Michigan center’s back to block a game-winning field goal. History looks favorably upon those theoretical outcries. Crable’s technique led to the NCAA eventually banning the use of snappers as elevation utensils.
THE ALLEN ROSSUM HEROICS
One is well-known for its preservation of the eventual 43-year Irish winning streak against Navy.
The memes of “Rossum saving …” would have been a catalyst for Notre Dame football Twitter for some time to come.
That pales in comparison to the thoughts of the freshmen in the student body in 1996, when Rossum returned the opening kickoff 99 yards for a touchdown against Purdue. Every single one of those freshmen would have tweeted exactly what they thought, “Holy *$#%, we’re going to go 48-0!”
Narrator: They did not go 48-0.
THE GREATEST FALSEHOOD
There are a number of off-field debacles that would top each of these in-game highlights. The video of Lou Holtz cutting loose at a pep rally could have enraged entire opposing stadiums. Every moment of Jimmy Clausen’s time in South Bend likely lent itself to mockery from afar.
Yet nothing, nothing whatsoever (with the possible exception of the in-the-heart-of-the-Twitter-era Manti Te’o dating debacle), not all of these thoughts combined, would have topped Twitter’s euphoria for five days in December of 2001.
George O’Leary’s padded résumé would have shut down much of the internet by crashing the servers of every online college football outlet
Instead, NYU-Stony Brook University is a figment of the imagination long forgotten.
A FEW THOUGHTS TOO LONG FOR TWITTER
— At least one Notre Dame alum remembers the Valenti rant quite well. In his friend group, it is a piece of legend: He had the audio file on his phone, listening to the phone on shuffle on a road trip with his girlfriend, a Michigan State alum. The Valenti outburst came on. The Irish fan let it play in its 15-minute entirety. The remaining 90 minutes of the ride were uncomfortably silent. Worry not. They will be married less than a month from now.
— There would have been universal social media joy following the Appalachian State topping of Michigan in Ann Arbor. Not just because of what happened at the Big House, but also because of the events at Appalachian State’s stadium, where the students broke in, tore down the goalposts and walked them a mile to the chancellor’s lawn.
— In its own way already proven, the late ‘80s matchups with Miami would have been ideal social media material, verified by how well Twitter received ESPN’s “30 for 30” on the rivalry.
ON TJ SHEFFIELD
It has already blown over. Hard as that may be to believe, given Wednesday’s likely end to the Notre Dame recruitment of rivals.com three-star receiver TJ Sheffield (Independence High School; Thompson’s Station, Tenn.). Sheffield committed on July 6, described his pledge as “100 percent” two days later, and then announced the Irish coaching staff had withdrawn the offer on July 11.
(Why bring up this old news now? One, to emphasize how it has already left most concerns. Two, only about 20 percent of U.S. adults use Twitter and many may have missed the ins and outs of this odd recruitment.)
“After establishing a long-term relationship with Coach Alexander the Receiver’s Coach for Notre Dame, I called him on the morning of the 6th of July and stated to him my intensions to commit [sic],” Sheffield posted to Twitter. “Coach Alexander then congratulated me on committing and he spoke with my parents as well stating that he looked forward to coaching me. Today I received a call from Coach Alexander stating that Notre Dame was not going to honor my commitment due to a change of plans. Coach Alexander stated that he should have let me know on the 6th of July that Notre Dame had different plans.”
Such as it goes, unfortunate as it is for this situation to have come to light at all. Sheffield will be better off learning of this shift now rather than closer to a signing date, the most likely outcome otherwise. That said, Alexander certainly made a public mistake in a public fashion.
To summarize how this miscommunication presumably occurred: All scholarship offers and subsequent commitments are mutually non-binding. Thus, not all scholarship offers are true offers. They are conditional on these grades or that other player or general timing. Sheffield did not have the same read of his conditions as the Irish coaching staff did. Simple as that, although yet embarrassing.
Compare it to a redhead behind the bar. If she gives the customer her number, she has not agreed to a date. She has simply put the option on the table pending timing, interests and textual manners.
The five-day life cycle of Sheffield’s commitment is nothing more than some mud on Notre Dame’s face that will wash off quickly, if it has not already.
INSIDE THE IRISH READING
— On Phil Steele’s expectations for Notre Dame
— No. 15 Phil Jurkovec, consensus four-star quarterback, incoming freshman
— No. 14 Devin Studstill, safety
— No. 13 Lawrence Keys, receiver, incoming freshman
— No. 13 Paul Moala, local safety, incoming freshman
— No. 12 DJ Brown, cornerback, incoming freshman
— No. 12 Ian Book, quarterback
OUTSIDE THE IRISH READING
— WR recruit T.J. Sheffield no longer in Notre Dame’s 2019 class
— The top position groups Florida State will face during the 2018 season
— The 15 most important assistant coaching hires of the offseason: No. 5 Ed Warinner, Michigan
— Bruce Feldman’s 2018 college football Freaks List ($)
— Single-game Irish tickets available July 26
— The economics of a Las Vegas Summer League invite